Self-love is typically marketed to us as an indulgence—a spa day, a fancy candle, a rare moment of peace. But I think that for women navigating burnout, hormonal shifts, and the relentless pressure to push through, self-love isn’t a luxury. It’s survival. It’s the difference between existing and actually living.

So, let’s redefine self-love as something essential. Not as something you earn after you’ve taken care of everyone else, but as the foundation that allows you to show up for your life in a way that heals, restores, and sustains you. We deserve this my ladies!

1. Tuning Into Your Body’s Needs

For so many of us, ignoring our own needs has become second nature. We push through exhaustion, brush off symptoms, and convince ourselves that “it’s just stress” or “it’s just hormones.” But our bodies are constantly speaking to us—through fatigue, migraines, anxiety, night sweats, and gut imbalances. The real question is: are we listening?

Showing up for yourself starts with recognizing that these signals aren’t inconveniences. They’re invitations. To rest. To nourish. To shift. To slow down. When you begin to honor what your body is asking for, you move from depletion to restoration.

2. Boundaries, Not Just Bubble Baths

We often associate self-care with external comforts, but the deepest form of self-care is creating boundaries that protect your energy. This means saying no without guilt, stepping away from what drains you, and allowing yourself to rest without feeling like you need to “earn it.”

If work is demanding too much, if relationships feel one-sided, if the mental load is crushing you—self-love is recognizing that your well-being is not negotiable. It’s setting the boundary before burnout forces you to.

3. We Weren’t Meant to Push Through Everything

The world glorifies high-functioning, overachieving women. We’ve marketed this idea that we should always be “hustling,” always achieving, always pushing through. This ‘system’ is not healthy or sustainable and designed to wear us down. Its pure BS…

Pushing through exhaustion, suppressing stress, and ignoring our bodies in the name of productivity has real consequences—on our hormones, our mental health, and our ability to truly live as a whole. Chronic stress depletes us and brings on an array of conditions. Overworking burns us out. Ignoring our needs disconnects us from ourselves.

We were not meant to operate like machines and yet, we’ve been conditioned to believe that slowing down is failure. That rest is laziness. That doing less means we’re not enough. But real self-love challenges this. Real self-love says: I refuse to sacrifice my well-being for an unrealistic expectation of productivity.

4. Making Space for Who You’re Becoming

Hormonal shifts, whether it’s perimenopause, menopause, or the aftermath of chronic stress, bring with them an identity shift. You are not the same person you were in your 20s. And that’s a good thing.

But how often do we grieve our former selves instead of embracing who we are becoming? Self-love in this phase means embracing the change, not resisting it. It’s about shedding the expectations that no longer fit and making space for new priorities, new rhythms, and a new sense of self.

5. You Don’t Have to Wait for Permission

No one is going to make time for you to take care of yourself. No one is going to tell you to go and rest. The world keeps turning, and the demands are never ending. But here’s the truth: your well-being matters. Not when everything is done. Not when everyone else is okay. Now.

Showing up for yourself means choosing yourself—even when it feels uncomfortable. Even when it means disrupting expectations. As the saying goes, you have to put on your life vest first, to help others around you. I learned that the hard way especially when I became a mother.

6. Self-Love Is a Practice, Not a Destination

Some days, showing up for yourself means setting aside time for sleep, movement, deep breathing, or a nourishing meal. Other days, it’s simply reminding yourself that you are doing enough, not weak for needing rest, that you are not lazy for choosing ease, that you are not failing for slowing down. 

Let’s get real! Life isn’t easy and the way you care for yourself is ever-changing depending on the season you are in. What matters is that you are doing IT. That you are seeing yourself. That you are choosing to show up for yourself, not as an afterthought, but as a priority.

When you do that—when you truly honor your own needs—you don’t just survive. You thrive and deserve nothing less!

Closing Thoughts: Choosing Self-Love Every Day

Some days, self-love feels like just another item on my to-do list—easy to push aside. But I choose every day to show up and make it a priority because it makes me a better person, a stronger role model for my daughters, a more present wife, and a truer friend.

Self-love isn’t always perfect or pretty. Sometimes, it’s simply letting myself rest without guilt, saying no to plans, or reminding myself that I am enough—right now, as I am.

If you’re struggling too, I see you. Loving yourself in the middle of the chaos isn’t easy, but it’s worth it.

How do you make space for yourself in the midst of it all?